Put a Stop to Negative Thoughts and Self-Talk

STRESS. Seamless vector background.There are several methods you can utilize to stop those crazy ass thoughts that are sabotaging you and steering you wrong every time. From Hypnotherapy, Meditation, NLP and just plain ignoring them, it all comes down to choice. You have to choose to change. The reality is that when you really listen, these thoughts are often not even yours to begin with.

You see, we come into this world whole and complete. Just watch a normal 2-year-old and they will prove to you that the world revolves around them. This is not a bad thing. However, things like good parenting, society and other peoples’ limiting beliefs and damage begin to erode that wonderful power of I AM.

Here are four simple methods you can use to put a stop to that negative internal dialogue, which criticizes you, sabotages you, depresses you, berates and belittles you.

Reframing: Reframing is a way to change meaning. Listen carefully to the negative things you are saying to yourself to determine whether there is an underlying positive intention. In other words, maybe the message is negative, but the underlying intent is positive. If so, find something else to say to validate the intention without the negative language. Suppose you’ve been saying to yourself, “I’m too clumsy to exercise.” The positive intention is that you exercise safely, the reframe would be, “I choose to exercise in a safe manner.”

Refuting: When you say something negative and irrational to yourself, convince yourself that the negative message just isn’t true and, in fact, it’s silly and ridiculous. Give yourself the evidence to refute the negative, irrational statement. An example would be “I’m so clumsy I trip on shadows and sunbeams.” There is no reality to that statement; it is pure and simple nonsense. You can begin to let go of your grip on the negative personal soundtrack when you see how ridiculous it really is.

Refusal: Refuse to entertain the negative messages. Refuse to dwell on them. You can say: “Stop,” “Cancel,” “Disregard,” or simply imagine that your mind is like a radio that can play a lot of different things, based on where you set the dial. If you don’t like what’s going on in your mind, turn the dial to a new frequency. Change the direction the negative thoughts are taking you. Make a choice. Sometimes it can simply begin with saying, “Until now” to qualify the thought. For example, if the thought is “I’ve never been happy” add “until now” and see how powerful the new message is.

Replacement: Replace and counter each negative message with a positive message immediately. Again, choice is the key here. Problem behaviors develop because of problematic thinking. Isn’t it strange that so many people are reluctant to think positive thoughts such as “I love and accept myself,” yet are eager to think negative thoughts such as “I’m not worthy”? Those kinds of thoughts keep people stuck. Every thought, negative or positive, is a direct instruction to the mind-body neurology, which strives to make those thoughts come true. The conscious mind is the goal-setter, the creative consciousness the goal-getter. Thoughts are powerful and words are spells.

Change your internal imagery: What movies do you play in your mind? What pictures are you looking at? Do you replay depressing movies of defeat and disappointment? Change your imagery to happy, healthy images with positive meanings. Every accomplishment begins with thought. Your thoughts create your beliefs, your beliefs create your behaviors and your behaviors ultimately create the world around you. Be mindful of your thoughts.


  1. Yvonne on February 6, 2013 at 9:29 am

    It took 6 months to realize I was the driver of my thoughts, 4 of those months were on medication and disability from work. It’s awesome to be back in the driver’s seat!!!

  2. KRinaldi on February 7, 2013 at 12:01 am

    When you own it you can change it. Glad you are in charge again.

  3. Iain on June 4, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    I’ve dwelled on the negative thoughts for so long, it’s harming my relationship with me and my partner. I don’t know how to get out of this obsessive cycle.

  4. KRinaldi on June 5, 2013 at 10:48 am

    Start with the 5 steps above. Practice them DAILY, HOURLY and even MINUTE BY MINUTE if you have to. Consciousness breeds change. And if you need assistance, I’m happy to help http://bit.ly/ApptApp

  5. Kristi Harrell on November 8, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    I find it funny that I have a 3R’s for refuting negative emotions. I use this technique for times when I did or said the wrong thing and I can’t get it off of my chest. They are Recognize, Reflect, Release. While they are all important, I think that releasing the emotion is what can finally set me free of it.

    I really like the idea of changing your internal imagery. Thanks for the great post! Now following you on twitter from @kristi_harrell.