The Language of Love

LoveOccasionally I do couples counseling, with an actual couple, as opposed to working with one half of the partnership and trying to communicate perceived values.

One of the biggest challenges we have as human beings – whether coupled or single – is communication. With so many opportunities to misspeak, misunderstand, project, and take personally the words that we use, it amazes me that are able to get along as much as we do.

One of my recommendations for couples is to understand each other’s values. You don’t have to agree with them. You should never try to change them. But knowing them and understanding them can help you in all aspects of your relationship.

There’s a book I’ve been recommending for a while, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It can help you understand why you don’t understand each other.

Based on our values we have a primary love language with which we want people to communicate with us. We show them this language in how we attempt to communicate with them.  Here’s a better way: how about you each discover your primary languages and then sit down and have a conversation?

But before you do, which do you think is your primary language?

  • Words of Affirmation – You need to hear that you’re loved
  • Acts of Service – You need to be treated as though you’re loved.
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

CLICK HERE to find out your language profile, and don’t forget to share with your partner. We’d love to know too!

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